Why is Self-Compassion So Hard?

Why is self-compassion and believing in our own goodness so hard? I wonder if it puts us close to our deepest longing to be fully seen and to have love and belonging in that seeing. With that longing is the deepest fear that if we are fully seen we might be confronted with the ultimate truth that something in us really is unforgivably un-deserving and unworthy of love or compassion. So we hold our hearts in a vice, deflect, keep the darkest secrets in a vault, stoke the fear less we let our guard down. The fear of actually believing in our own worthiness for love presses us against the glass shard / pane of fear of heart-shattering disappointment of not finding it. 

It is too tremendous of a risk for the heart to take.

Unless we dare to do it. 

We learn as little kids that some parts of us are safe to bring forward and other parts are not. Children receive and store this inheritance in their heart. They...We... will take the crumbs of love if the alternative severs us from connection and love.

Our hearts carry on this way, until and unless we have the incredible gift of recognition that these original stories may not be our deepest, most beautiful truth. Somehow, when we're ready, there is a glimmer our heart might be ready against all notions to step back and hold these stories and beliefs up to the light. Could we actually look back upon our worst transgressions, understand the heart did the best it could at that time, and hold even the possibility of self-forgiveness? Could we understand and ,with clear-seeing eyes, follow our most unskillful words or actions back to their jagged, painful roots of raw insecurity, fear or deepest hurt? Following our roots to their original wounds can be a deep unearthing. It can take lion-hearted courage and the light touch of our own grace. 

Before we can be fully seen and loved by others, we must first fully see our own being (heart-mind-body) and travel the roots of our earliest wounds. Here is where we explore territories of acceptance, self-forgiveness, and self-compassion. It's like the original explorers who were not 100% sure the earth wasn't flat and sailed anyway towards what felt like an abyss but was their freedom.

I say again, Self-compassion is the most radical and courageous act we can do in this lifetime.

Don't believe it? Try it.