Is it Coaching or Therapy?

This question comes up often. When we come off of auto-pilot and patterns of reactivity, we can take a half-step back to look at our lives. We can look with clear, kind eyes and a courageous heart at our patterns, stories, identities, assumptions, messages, behaviors that underpin our lived moments. We can pull the roots up just enough to see what we can learn. Where did these stories come from? Where did I learn these patterns or first hear these messages? Are these mine? If so, do they bring me whole and invite my gifts and authentic self forward? Do they invite me to be Big or keep me small locked in limiting beliefs? If not, whose are they and where did I first learn them? What fundamental beliefs and core assumptions sit underneath my behaviors, choices and actions?

As we pull up the roots of self-awareness even a little, we explore terrain of our own sense of self, our agency and intention of how we want to experience this precious life. Often, pulling the roots up even a little is sufficient for radical transformation. The mere notion that we can CHOOSE where we place our awareness and that we are not our thoughts (no matter how long they've been on loop) is life-changing in and of itself. We can feel tenderized and liberated to understand that the voice of an inner critic may not be from a sinister, evil Darth Vader-like tormentor but, more likely, from a very, very young and innocent place. (Forgive me - I watch a lot of Star Wars with my kids.)

This level of reflection is in the realm of coaching and can offer a tremendous space for self-discovery, growth, healing, transformation and freedom.

As coaching gently pulls the roots up, we might find the roots go down much farther and to a much younger place of more profound wounding and trauma. Here, is where a professionally skilled coach would recommend working with a trained therapist to explore the much deeper roots of wounds the individual seeks to understand more fully and heal. At this intersection, the tools of coaching and therapy are different. A therapist might specialize in and use different modalities (e.g. cognitive, somatics experiencing, etc.), methods of understanding psychology (gestalt, Jungian, family systems, trauma-informed, etc.) A well-trained coach should be familiar enough with these pathways to make an informed recommendation but not to explore them directly with a person.